SPEAKER_00 0:00

The breakdown of every relationship you have is due to unmet expectations. It's like they're waiting for something. Relationships aren't built overnight. Is this truly a win-win or not? That really matters.

SPEAKER_02 0:19

It's such a simple way to grow a business, but I think people can overcomplicate it so much.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Authenticity and transparency, I think, are super important.

SPEAKER_02 0:28

What's up, everybody, Grantwise? Welcome back to the Partner and Profit Podcast. I am so pumped to um be here today interviewing one of my very dear friends, Mrs. Kendall Bonner. Kendall, thank you so, so, so much for spending some time with me. I know you're very busy.

SPEAKER_00 0:43

Oh, thank you. I'm never too busy for you. Don't say that. I got to. I've always conversations and um our relationship, and I've learned so much from you through our years of being connected. So uh it's always a pleasure.

SPEAKER_02 0:59

Oh, I appreciate that. I definitely uh I definitely feel the same. So for the people that are listening that maybe don't know much about you, give us a little bit of the backstory. How did you get to where you are today?

SPEAKER_00 1:08

Yeah, so um my background is the short version is I'm a Florida licensed attorney and have been since 2003. So if you can see me on camera right now, I'd like to say I look younger than I am. At least I've been told that. Um, I joke that I'm an old lady, been an attorney for 20 over 22 years. I met my husband in law school. He's also an attorney. So we've been business partners for most of our career together. I got into real estate in 2011. I'd like to describe it as a little bit of boredom, a little bit of, hey, I think I might want to be open and interested in something else. I had some life things happening that got me thinking about what do I really want out of life? So why not do it today instead of waiting for some unknown future event that may or may not ever occur? I got into brokerage um ownership. I became a franchise owner in 2014. I grew that from an agent of one myself to almost over 50 agents, 60 agents, something like that, 200 million volume within a few years, and uh had leveraged myself out of that business and it was running, it was doing great and doing fine. And then COVID happened, and that changed the whole game for me and brought up some aha's and some areas of I am all in on one tool. I really need to create more leverage in other places. And so I ended up in 2021, starting a real estate team also from scratch, built that up within two years of, and I personally was out of production, so this was just agents, was able to scale them from uh up to 80 million in volume and over 200 sides. And that was me just and my team teaching um these agents like that were brand new or had no um business how to how to scale and how to do real estate. Then I leveraged myself out of the team and I went on to do a corporate job for a couple of years. I worked at EXP Corporate for um as Leo's VP of Industry Relations and Strategic Partnerships. I ran that division, those divisions for a little while, and then I call myself retiring from corporate just a few short months ago, back into entrepreneurship, and that's where you find me today.

SPEAKER_02 3:22

You lasted two years. That's good. That's good. Apparently, it's a different world. It's uh I talk to my friends in corporate America, they just speak a whole different language. Even in the real estate industry, the the the corporate life is just so much different than than what we do.

SPEAKER_00 3:39

Oh, a hundred percent. It's definitely different on that side of the the fence. And um, you know, I I joke now, like I know how the sausage is made, you know what I mean? Like that side of this, you know, of that world, but I don't have any regrets. It was great. Um I left in peace with them and like with love. And in fact, I still get offers and requests to come back, but um, I I think that I'm on the right path right now.

SPEAKER_02 4:07

Yeah. One of the things I've always admired about you is you are a connector, you are deeply intertwined in the industry, you do so much. Um, always at the events, always speaking, always collaborating and connecting. And so, you know, one of the questions that I think comes up for me first is how do you get there? Like how how did you get how do you get to a position where you're the one that's called on for pretty much everything, like like you're talking about?

SPEAKER_00 4:30

Yeah, that's a good question. I don't know if I know the answer to that, other than to say that I can think back to my particular journey. Um, I have said yes to things that scared me. Things that I didn't want to do, things that there's the the little devil on the shoulder or whatever, a little birdie in your ear. You're not qualified for that. You don't deserve that. You shouldn't be doing that. Like, who or who do you think you are? Right. Like, I think we all have that threat happening, you know, in our minds at any given time all the time. And and I'm no um, no difference. And I I think where I have differentiated myself from others, when that happens, that is when I know, like, oh, I'm supposed to do that. Something's trying to talk me out of it. This is meant for me, and um, I'm supposed to do this. And I just learned that there's no um bravery or courage without fear. And so when I feel that I use it as fuel because I remember one time I said no to something because I was scared and I had so much regret over it, and I decided that I would not do that to myself again.

SPEAKER_02 5:48

How do you keep it when you get it?

SPEAKER_00 5:51

Yeah, I think that part of keeping it is one I one of the other things that I've thank God I've shedded is ego. Like my ego is not a problem for me anymore. Like I try to live in a space of gratitude and humility and recognizing that um it's it's it's not all me, right? I've been blessed and I've been given opportunity, blessed with opportunity, gifted with opportunity. It's my responsibility to nurture it, respect it, and take care of it. And so I think like part of that um journey is making sure that you respect the opportunities that you've been given, you see it as a responsibility and not as some sort of entitlement. I I was introduced to that concept at a very young age, you know, not to not feel or be or behave entitled and how dangerous that is. And people don't often realize like what a factor that can play in relationships, because when you feel entitled or behave entitled, people feel that and they don't like it. And it's a it becomes a friction point. So I work really hard to create frictionless relationships. And one of the ways that I do that is um, again, I was taught this lesson really early in life, is that the breakdown of every relationship you have is due to unmet expectations, meaning either you had an expectation or they had an expectation that wasn't fulfilled, and therefore it just totally, you know, disrupts and deconstructs the entire relationship. So, you know, I really focused on in my relationships is managing expectations. I try to underpromise, overdeliver. You know, I'm really intentional about those things. And that is one of my words. Like I'm very intentional and proactive as opposed to reactionary and accidental. And I think when you become aware of these things and you start to like really implement them and be intentional about them, it changes the whole game because it changes the way you see your like the way you see things and the way you perceive them, and then how you therefore behave. So I know that's like really theoretical, but it's actually genuinely true for how I approach the world and how I self-talk and how I proceed and move forward in my businesses.

SPEAKER_02 8:11

That's exactly where my mind went when you um started talking about entitlement was expectations. Entitlement and expectations I've seen are the two things that really ruin relationships. And um I've had I've had a lot of people on here. It's like, how do you get um into relationship with a lot of people? It's well, you give, like just, you know, how can I add value to somebody's life? How can I contribute? How can I serve somebody else? And then, you know, how can I keep that relationship? I would, I would agree wholeheartedly, is remove the entitlement and eliminate the expectations. And I think you're gonna have a lot of amazing relationships. It's not the it's not how the majority of the world seems to think today. It seems to be quite the opposite, actually. Everybody seems to feel very entitled to uh a lot of things. It's it's interesting to watch this play out.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

Yeah, I mean, and people are it's like they're waiting for something. And I'm like, what are you waiting for? Right? Like, I am very intentional about like if I see someone I know, I don't wait for them to come to me. I'll go to them because I'm nurturing that relationship and I'm nurturing that friendship. And, you know, I'm not, I don't wait on things or wait on people. I take action, I'm very action-oriented, and I believe that you know, uh everything you want in life is a result of the things that you're willing to make non-negotiable, what you're willing to take action on, what you're willing to do, what you're willing to suffer for. And so, um, because success doesn't show up overnight, right? Um, relationships aren't built overnight. It's a it's a series of intentional actions that build on these things. So, um, and I've even gone so far as to make sure I'm in the right rooms. You know, I think that's how you build and keep relationships, is I'm I try to be in the right room and I try to bring value to your to your other guest point when I'm in the room. I don't have a need to speak just to hear my voice. Like I am actually one of my superpowers, I'm a really good listener. And I'm listening to what's not said as what as much as I'm listening to what's said. And so for me, I don't have um a desire to be the face, to be the front person, to constantly, you know, honestly, even to be on stage or on camera or anything like that's not my my first intent. My first intent is to listen and then okay, understand, all right, how can I bring value back to this relationship? Okay, boom, I heard I'm hearing this challenge, I'm hearing that challenge. Oh, can I solve that? Oh, I know someone, boom, done. And then now by doing that, that is what creates um that whatever is felt on the other side for me that, oh man, Kendall cares, you know, um whatever they're perceiving, because I don't pretend to be in their minds, but if I bring value and they feel it, then they'll remember it.

SPEAKER_02 10:56

Of course. Well, I always have. Obviously, I've had a relationship with you for a while now. You're always willing to help and serve and connect and do whatever you can to help other people become successful. I've I've certainly felt that way.

SPEAKER_00 11:06

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:07

I'm gonna ask you a little bit of an abstract question. How do you take your relationships and turn them into revenue?

SPEAKER_00 11:14

So, first, I think it starts with a couple of things. You know, one, authenticity and transparency, I think, are super important. And when you are um trying to do business, because a lot of our relationships, the whole point, we're in a sales service business of some sort, like you know, typically in most of our lives and our world. And so I don't, it's not that I look at people as a revenue stream. I look at them as someone who may have a challenge that I have a solution to. And so when I think about it from that perspective, I'm not selling them something they don't need or they don't want. And that's what you have to stay focused on when you're doing sales in relationship-based opportunities, right? Or transactions. So it's like when you're um, when you don't have a relationship with someone, you don't know if you're selling them a solution to a problem or not. You're just hoping that they happen to have the problem that you're solving. But when you're in a relationship with someone, you have to think of like, hey, what is a challenge? What is a goal? What is a problem that they might have that I believe that what I'm doing could solve the problem or answer the call or take them from where they are to their goal. And then that's how you, I think, better approach it because if you're, but that again, that requires that superpower of listening. It requires that superpower of paying attention and being aware and present in those relationships to see, like, hey, this person, they have this. Oh, I think I can help them with that. And then that then the value exchange feels fair and reasonable, and not like, oh, every time I talk to them trying to sell me something. It's like, no, they're only selling me something that I actually need, want, or desire, right? At the end of the day.

SPEAKER_02 13:03

How would a person identify the types of people that they should go build relationships in order to help themselves grow? Um to identify the right people that have the right problems that you can solve. How how do you identify those people that you ultimately want to go out and try to work with?

SPEAKER_00 13:19

Yeah, that's a that's a big question. I would say, how have I identified them in the past? Honestly, I'm looking for triggers. I'll go back to how I got into real estate. When I was in my first um transition into real estate, it was during the short sale market, right? So, how did I find potential home sellers who were looking who were in need of a short sale, right? That's a very specific avatar, as very specific niche at that time, even though it's common. I look for where do those people also live and work and who's a common uh relationship or vendor that they would want to um need, right? So, in that case, at the time, I was also a bankruptcy lawyer. So I had one client who needed two different services. I personally happen to provide both, but that clued me into this concept of we have a common client. Who are my other relationships around me where we have common clients? Who are businesses adjacent to my own where we have a common client? And so when you find those business adjacents and you can refer business back and forth to one another, because you're not in competition, you both just happen to have the same client who has multiple needs that you both can serve. That is a powerful winning way to locate and find those people. So that would be one suggestion that I would make. If I were to make another, it would be again through networking and asking questions and asking the people you know, who do you know who might need this solution or might need to achieve this particular goal? I'm looking for those people. Can you make introductions for me? Um, that would be another way that I would do that. And then, of course, you know, peer marketing will also get you there, right? And speaking to that avatar's challenge andor their goal.

SPEAKER_02 15:09

It's one of my favorite questions. Obviously, you know, I've been in marketing and advertising for pretty much the entirety of my career in real estate.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

And on Lamlo.

SPEAKER_02 15:18

Yeah. And it was always like, you know, how do we get customers? You know, I would say in the beginning of my like thing in real estate, it was always like, here's a strategy. And then today, if somebody asks my that question, my instant response is like, it's not how to. Who do you know that uh serves the clients that you ultimately want? So know your audience, know who you want to work with, and then who has that audience, and then go add value to those people as fast as you can. And I think that it's so simple, like it's such a simple way to grow a business, but I think people can overcomplicate it so much, or not out of fear, just not ask. Like, I don't know how our relationship got started. I can't remember all of the details because I know we were bumping into each other's at events and maybe it was a podcast interview or something. I don't remember exactly what it was. But I think it's like, well, if we didn't ask each other to do something, we we would have never obviously had the relationship. So I do think people have people just all in their head, and that it's like we've lost this sense of how to communicate with people. It's it's very interesting to me.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

Yeah, I was watching a webinar recently. Um, because I'm obsessed with what's happening outside of industry our industry to figure out to impact our industry. I was on a webinar, or not a webinar, I was well, two things. I was on a podcast earlier this week with another friend of mine, John Kitchens, and he was saying how someone had told him, look to people in your industry and you'll scale five to seven percent. Look to people outside your industry and you'll 10 out, right? Like, I mean, I'll get into like how what I think, if you cared, about how I feel like our industry, in particular real estate, is slower to adopt than others, but I really do feel like that's part of the the challenge. But I was listening to a webinar from someone outside of our industry, and the key takeaway here that she said that I think applies to what you just said is underthink it.

SPEAKER_01 17:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:12

Like men do overthink things, and it's just like just underthink it. And I know for me, I do that. Like I said yes to something recently, and I'm like, if I think too hard about this, I'm gonna say no.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:24

Um underthink it, you'll figure it out. Like, that's really literally the self-talk I have is you'll figure it out. Don't worry about it. You will figure it out, it'll be fine, it'll be great. And then if I do need to pivot, because I did say yes to something that I realized like this is an alignment and I need to pivot, but I found them the perfect replacement. Like I nurtured that relationship and I I put two people together where that made more sense for them. I wasn't the right fit, but I feel like I was found so that I could bring these two strangers together that wouldn't help each other, but for connecting through me. So I feel like I got to serve a purpose and nurture a relationship without even though I had to ultimately, you know, I said yes to something that really I should have said no to, but it was all designed, I think, to happen on purpose. I believe in divine appointments, I believe things happen for the reason that they're supposed to occur path and in the way that they do because it leads to something else. So um, you know, my goal is just be obedient and do what's put in my heart to do, and hopefully the right outcomes um come about. But underthink it is the point.

SPEAKER_02 18:30

Uh, that's a great point. As well as be obedient. I I think not enough people think that way. I I certainly look at my business as what you call a divine appointment, and it's like, I don't feel like doing this today. It's like, yes, but it is an act of obedience to you know follow a calling, and no matter how hard it is. So I couldn't agree more. I wanted to ask you this question as you were talking, because I, you know, I sit back sometimes and I think about all the relationships that I've been able to develop over the years that I've been doing this. Because I was thinking about the other day, I was like, okay, I'm about to be 36. I'm still not that old, I'm still pretty young, but I've been doing this since I was, I've been in the real estate industry since I was 21. Actually started doing something productive when I turned 23. And when I first got started, it's like, I know nobody. Like I have no relationships, no contacts, no money, no nothing. Like, what the heck am I gonna do? How am I gonna do this? But then I sit back and reflect now, especially I I literally just landed uh like an hour ago, hour and a half ago. I just got back from Nashville and uh we were at an in I was at an industry event. And um, I want to ask you like, have you ever sat back and just like thought like where you are today about the relationship that you have? And how does that make you feel compared to obviously, you know, when you first got started doing all this stuff?

SPEAKER_00 19:42

Honestly, I'm overwhelmed by it. Um, when I think about my Rolodex and the numbers, the cell phones, the leaders. I'm I don't want to name drop, but I literally have the cell phones and and of massive companies, right? That I could call on or get access to and their people and stuff like that. And I'm like, holy smokes, that's not normal, you know? Um, and that that's uh something to be thankful for that I've been trusted with these names and phone numbers and this this access, we'll say, right? With this access, grateful for it. And I um I thank God for it because I don't use it for necessarily my own benefit, I use it to better my industry. And, you know, I I've used it to call on leaders to say, hey, we need to rally around this concept, this idea, this whatever, right? Or hey, I wanted to share this update or this news or this concern, and or hey, there's an opportunity. Would this benefit you and your company? Right. And so it when you use things for good and you have that kind of intention, and I think that really helps. Honestly, uh I think about it sometimes. I try to think about it a lot because I gotta earn the right to to nurture those or maintain those relationships. But yeah, I'm very grateful at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

Yeah, I would I would agree. I I sit back sometime and I'm a little shocked, like, how did I how do we do that? Like, how what how did I get here?

unknown 21:11

Like, what the heck?

SPEAKER_02 21:12

So it's like that's like to the people that are listening to this and like maybe they're in the messy middle or maybe they're in the just just beginning and they're they're like, no, I want to grow through partnerships, I want to grow through relationships. What would you say to them if they're kind of like, oh, this is hard, or oh, I don't know if I should keep doing this?

SPEAKER_00 21:26

If you're struggling with it, I would say it's probably because you're approaching it with the wrong mindset or intention. I would say work on creating frictionless environments and frictionless relationships, i.e., the we are, especially in real estate, right? I mean, I don't, I'm sure your audience is beyond real estate, especially on a topic like this. But for those of us in this industry, um we have a really high sales skepticism. And it's way higher than the average person, especially people who are not. In sales. And so when you're dealing with B2B, like other salespersons to other salespeople, right? And you're trying to sell to the salesman. There's the mistake we make is we try to do that. And you can't lead with sales with another salesman because we automatically just naturally block it because our our like radar or meter for that is like super high. It's like we're super aware of it. And so you have to start with you got to bring that bar way down. You have to bring that sales skepticism way down. And and of course, one of the ways that we've been taught to do that is by giving value. But I would say it's even different than that. It's actually just being a good listener, just connecting and being like, hey, what's important to you? That's not necessarily giving value, that's just making them important, right? And say, hey, what's important to you? How what's going on with you right now? What do you need? Like, hey, I see you doing X. How can I support you? Again, that's not like, oh, I'm value dumping on them because and I don't, I'm not saying that value dumping or value giving is not a great strategy because it is, it does work. But when that works after they have already trusted you, I think. But when you're trying to build like know and like, right, and you're you're building those pieces, that's just caring about what matters to them, right? Um at the end of the day. And so not enough people take the time to pay attention to what matters to the person on the other end that they really want to make the relationship with. Like if someone came up and said, Hey, Kendall, I see you're doing this, this, and this. How can I support you? And I was like, Oh my God, if you could help me find blah, blah, blah. And then they actually do, my gosh, I'll be like, what can I do for you? You hear that law of crossity. So just giving me value without knowing what is valuable to me, in my opinion. You got to know what's actually valuable to me before you can actually give me value. And that starts with asking questions, being a really great listener, listening for what I say and what I don't say, and then piecing together. And here's how I can support you. And I think that is a really strong way to open a relationship, and then adding value to it is a great way to nurture the relationship over time.

SPEAKER_02 24:22

Could not agree more. If you're sitting there, like I I think I even did a Facebook post about this the other day. I was because um somebody in my like ecosystem was having a bad time or upset. And I'm like, just stop what you're doing and go help somebody. Yeah. I'm like, it'll it'll it's a cure. Like I tend to find that people that are that get like too flustered, too upset typically are just kind of like thinking too much about themselves, they got too much happening to them. And then when you shift, it's one of the things the reason I love growing through, you know, what we what we do obviously with co-marketing and strategic partnerships, is because when you just say, no, okay, I'm just gonna help Kendall in some way, it actually makes you feel good. Like whether or not you get the return that you're thinking about from like from a relationship or like a business standpoint, just like the altruistic idea, like I'm just gonna help. It will make you feel good as a person. And you can do it today, sitting there wherever you are right now, listening to this podcast. You can just say, Oh, okay, who's somebody in my ecosystem? I can go just help. Yeah. Make the call, do the thing. Sometimes it's just a phone call. Call your mom. Like, I don't know what it is, but like you can do something that simple. Just think about how you can give to other people and do it in a way that actually positively impact them, impacts them, like like Kendall's clock talking about. I think that's key.

SPEAKER_00 25:35

Yeah. And if I can make one more point, I the because this came up recently for me, is the other thing I think I'm really also good at, and I would encourage people to think about is like the win-win. A lot of people don't recognize they are actually constantly operating in win-lose and and not in win-win. Like they think they're in win-win, but they're really in win-lose. And when you step out of yourself or out of the situation, you really identify like, is this truly a win-win or not? That really matters. And that changes the game because you might be thinking you're a win-win because you're thinking internally. But when you step out and you think like, oh no, this is actually a win-lose, all you're doing is recognizing what the other person has already decided. They've already decided this is a win-lose. And so, which again creates the friction. But when it's truly a win-win, that makes it a lot harder for people to say say no to that, right? Um, and then, you know, and and I I think of I said something recently, I said, taking an overpriced listing is the same as taking a buyer out without a pre-approval letter. I said, i.e., we shouldn't do it, right? Stop taking overpriced listings and stop taking buyers out without a pre-approval, you know, like just making sure because you have an obligation with that buyer to a seller, if you show a listing and you're you've kicked that seller out of their home for an hour and had them all the trauma and drama of cleaning that house up for that showing, and you don't even know if that buyer is ready, willing, and able to actually buy that house. Like, how shame, right? Like, we all kind of think agree like that's a problem. Same on this list side. If we're taking overpriced listings and you're doing it because, well, at least I get my sign in the yard, or well, at least I'll find buyers from my other listing. That is a win-lose. True win-lose. And shame on you for thinking that way. Your job and obligation is to help that seller achieve their goal, which is to sell their home at a price that a buyer will pay. And, you know, of course, is to get as much money as possible if if that's the seller's goal. Some good sellers, that's not that, right? They have uh they have so many goals that they can have as sellers. Our job is to pay attention and listen to those goals, but it's like and achieve that. So, you know, that to me is like a pure example of a win-lose scenario. Someone's winning and someone's losing, and that's not acceptable. If you and I feel like that's an integrity thing, and like if you approach any relationship like that, that means you're willing to approach every relationship like that. That to me is an integrity thing. So focus on the win-win, because again, sometimes I don't think it's intentional, but once you become aware of it, now you have an obligation to upfill that.

SPEAKER_02 28:23

So good. I could not agree more in partnerships. It's got to be win-win. I mean, it just has to be win-win-win all the way around. Um, because you have too many of those lopsided relationships, that it just does not work. Uh eventually, somewhere, some somehow, some way, somebody starts to get upset or build up resentment, and it just doesn't work. So I definitely couldn't agree more. I want to respect your time. So I've just got one last question. How can we, as listeners of the Partner Profit Podcast, partner with you? What can we do to support you? What's important to you right now?

SPEAKER_00 28:50

Oh gosh, I have so many things I'm working on, but care about I'm a giver. So I would say, like, let's connect on Instagram. Tell me what's important to you. I'll tell you what I'm working on. You know, I've got, like I said, so many different projects right now, but I love connecting. And I it was like it was so funny. Someone brought an idea to me that all I could think when he was telling me this idea was, this is so not my jam. I have no idea. Like it was presenting a buyer for data farms, okay? And I remember this is so over my head and like so not in alignment with my focus right now. But he took the time to share and I took the time to listen. And then lo and behold, I was in two conversations with two other real estate professionals within a handful of weeks of that conversation. And just because I sat and listened to him, when they came to me and said, Hey, I have this or I have that, I was like, Oh my God, I'm I'm meant, I was meant to listen to him so I could meet you, so I could connect. And there was like this opportunity to connect these people. So I like meeting people because you just never know like what the future connection is going to be that needs to happen. And I'm open to that. And like I said, obedient to that mission and that purpose. So just connect with me because you never know how we might be able to support each other.

SPEAKER_02 30:03

You know what's funny about doing this podcast and interviewing a bunch of incredible people is when you ask them how, or a bunch of people, a bunch of incredible people that believe that live from a place of contribution, and when you ask them how can we partner with you, how can you support you, they always say, Oh, I don't know. Let me support you. That's the best way that you can help me. And so uh definitely reach out to Kendall, connect with her on Instagram. We'll make sure that we link up the ways you can do that. Reach out to her, absolutely reach out to her. She should I know she'll be happy to connect with you and support you anyway that she can. Uh, Kendall, I appreciate you supporting me today, being on the show. Uh, it means a lot. And uh obviously anything that I can do to support you, it's always a yes. So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

SPEAKER_00 30:38

Thank you, Grant, and you've proved it. So I know that to be true. So thank you.

SPEAKER_02 30:42

Awesome. All right. I appreciate you all. Thank you for continuing to listen to the Partner Profit podcast. We'll see you on the next one. Peace.